Boys Will Be Boys

Lately I've been thinking about the differences between boys and girls (and thus the differences in parenting them). When I was first pregnant with Patrick, I really wanted a girl. I figured that having been a girl myself, it would be a whole lot easier to know what a girl needs and how to raise one. The thought of raising a boy was honestly a bit terrifying to me. I had no clue (and still don't really) about what a boy needs to grow to be a valiant gentlemen that loves and serves God. But, as you know, I had a boy.

I've been noticing lately how Patrick is getting to be a daredevil, a prankster, and doesn't mind the consequences if the activity that gets him in trouble is worth it. Such a boy.

One morning last week, I was sitting at the table eating my breakfast. Patrick had already scarfed down his own several course breakfast and eaten all of what Kimberly dropped on the floor of hers. He had made his way into our bedroom and was playing with his cars on our bed. It was a warm morning since we've been having record heat, so the ceiling fan was running directly above our bed. I looked up just in time to see Patrick in the motion of an underhand throw as he is starring up at the fan with his car in his hand. Adventure and curiosity written all over his face. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "The car wants to go around". I'm thinking, "Great. I didn't think that kind of curiosity started at this age." I guess I was wrong, or maybe it's a boy thing. I remember doing stuff like that, but I was much older. So, five minutes later, I'm in the other room and Patrick, still playing on our bed says, "Mom, is it ok if I get down?" I said, "Of course you can get down" as I'm thinking "Why are you asking me? You don't usually ask to get down." Then I hear, "So, it's ok if I jump?" Obviously my answer was "No, no jumping off the beds. You'll break an arm, a leg, or your neck. We don't jump off of things." And, then came the ever popular question, "Why not?" "Because it's dangerous." "What's dangerous?" (As he's jumping up and down at the edge of the bed with his hands on my shoulders.) "Something is dangerous if there's a good chance you'll hurt yourself doing it." "But I won't hurt myself." "Patrick, just don't do it, please." And then, I had to walk away and hope he wouldn't actually do it. Thankfully he didn't. (Or maybe he landed it so well that I never heard him.) Anyway. It got me thinking, should I have let him jump off the bed? Is this some kind of boyhood rite of passage that I'm holding him back from attaining? Am I being overprotective? Maybe I should have taught him a safe way to do it instead of saying no? Maybe I'm thinking too much about this? (BTW- I did for a second think it would be fun to stick his car on top of the fan and turn it back on to show him what it would do, but I figured he'd want to keep doing it or would try it again later on his own if I did. My cousins and I used to tie stuff to, hang things from, and set things on top of the fan blades at my Aunt and Uncle's house as kids when they'd leave us home alone. It was great fun!)

It's not just daredevil stuff though. He's also gotten to where he weighs the consequences and still chooses to do what I've asked him not to. For example, today when I let him go out back to play, I told him "no dirt" meaning stay out of my garden (including the flower beds, vegetable garden, and potted plants). I even walked him around the yard showing him exactly what was off limits and asked him to repeat the rules back to me and explain them so that I knew he got it. He understood well enough to tell me it was just like Peter Rabbit when his mommy told him not to go in Mr. McGreggor's Garden. So, I come back in about 10 minutes. When I asked him if he had been in my garden, he said "no". I didn't buy it though. He's blond, but his hair was so filled with dirt that it looked like it was dark brown. He had evidently dumped garden soil on his head repeatedly AND rubbed it in. I asked him what was in his hair and he admitted it was dirt, but that it was dirt from the "flower garden" and not the "plant garden" as if it made a difference. He then asked, "Am I going to get a spanking for disobedience?" "Um, yeah, Buddy, you are, you kne the rules and you chose to break them anyway. I'm going to give you a spanking and then I'm going to hose you off." I was honestly more concerned with the fact that he had lied to me than that he had disobeyed me. He had so much fun getting hosed off though that I'm sure he'll want to play in my garden every day from now on, just so he can get the hosing off. (BTW- the pic is from a couple days ago when he was helping me water the garden and somehow ended up in it even though I had told him not to touch the dirt. Hence the reason I so clearly told him not to go in the garden today.)

And, he's gotten to where he likes to tell funny stories and then follows them up with, "I'm just teasing you guys." Such a joker. My other favorite is when he'll bust out with, "Oh, no. Oh, no. Don't get me. You can't get me." And then takes off running. He has also lately started telling me when he is working hard at something and is out of breath. (I'm sure it's partly due to the asthma and having a cold, but it's cute, nonetheless.) I think he really feels like the tasks he does are challenging him.

All this to say, I've been thinking about how I, as his mother and also as the person he spends every minute of every day with, can help him and not hinder him as he grows into the man God wants him to be. A man who is brave, valiant, hard working, chivalrous, strong in his convictions, compassionate toward others, and, above all, a man who loves God and serves Him.

I'd appreciate prayer in this area and welcome any comments, suggestions, or recommendations for resources such as books on the topic of raising boys.